“80 for Brady” (2023) – 335; 649; 7,753; 89,214; and 97.2.
What are these numbers? Are they significant?
They are related, but how? Here are two more integers that double as hints: 7 and 12.
Okay, let’s decode the numeric mystery.
335 games, 649 touchdowns, 7,753 completions, 89,214 yards, a 97.2 quarterback rating, and 7 Super Bowl victories belong to one individual, #12 Tom Brady.
He’s the greatest quarterback in National Football League history, an organization founded in 1920, so standing tall – at 6’ 4” – on top of his profession is an iconic feat.
He’s #1.
On Feb. 1, 2023, and at 45 years young, Tom retired from the game, so his towering statistics will (or should) remain unchanged when he enters the NFL Hall of Fame.
Speaking of retirement, first-time film director Kyle Marvin employed four Hollywood legends to play a group of senior citizens who love the New England Patriots and their long-time leader Tom Brady in “80 for Brady”.
Lily Tomlin, Jane Fonda, Rita Moreno, and Sally Field play a quartet of Boston-area 80-somethings who embark on a trip to cheer and celebrate their gridiron heroes. In real life, Tomlin, Fonda, and Moreno are older than 80 years young, but Field is 76, a declaration and clarification that her character makes during this 98-minute comedy. Actually, Betty (Field) proudly claims that she’s 75, the age that Field probably was during the filming.
But let’s not digress with semantics.
The bottom line is that Lou (Tomlin), Trish (Fonda), Maura (Moreno), and Betty are BFFs, and the ladies have been Brady fans for years, 16 to be exact. They watch their favorite team and player every weekend and wear the man’s jersey, complete with shiny silver sequins.
Well, the Pats are cruising through another great season, and as the movie opens, the Fab Four are enjoying Brady and Co. winning the AFC Championship Game. Their team is heading to the Super Bowl. The women attempt to secure tickets to The Big Game and eventually do!
“80 for Brady” producers MUST HAVE negotiated with the NFL to make this film because the National Football League provides all kinds of footage from one particular Super Bowl that features the Patriots and Tom Terrific. (For the record, Tom Terrific is the nickname for MLB Hall of Fame pitcher Tom Seaver.)
Which Super Bowl? Which year? Which site? You’ll have to watch “80 for Brady” to find out, but yes, it’s a classic battle.
Without a doubt, the NFL logo is everywhere. NFL films offers tons of actual plays that are wildly close to the action. No, this movie isn’t in 3D, but you almost believe that you could reach out and touch the players or be tackled by them.
Before the game begins, Lou, Trish, Maura, and Betty relish their football fantasies with the NFL Experience, a pre-game amusement park that goes on for days leading up to the on-field crescendo. Writers Emily Halpern and Sarah Haskins fish for activities for our leads, and the happenings are tied to the NFL. So much so, that the movie’s second act feels like a giant commercial for the aforementioned sports league as Halpern and Haskins crowbar our golden-years enthusiasts into sticky situations and glorious triumphs.
(Admittedly, it is refreshing to see NFL logos and uniforms in a motion picture. We’re not dealing with teal and magenta unis and constant references of fabricated team names like the Boston Tea Partiers or the Los Angeles Quakes.)
Unfortunately, the contrived setups wreck any suspension of disbelief, or at least with this moviegoer. The film is no longer the story of four AARP members basking in adventure. It becomes a showcase for the actresses to participate in artificially crafted hijinks that just fills time. From that perspective, “80 for Brady” reaches the end zone and scores 6.
The film is light, breezy, and harmless, and hey, it’s a chance to see Tomlin, Fonda, Moreno, and Field together in one picture. This flick is almost a reunion of “9 to 5” (1980). Well, two-thirds, anyways. We’re just missing Dolly Parton, but no one is complaining about Moreno and Field filling this cinematic dance card.
The actresses seem to be enjoying themselves too, and it’s heartwarming to see, even for the most cynical critics.
Look, Sally Field brings some hip dance moves!
Still, the film is as cookie-cutter as you can get, and we’re not talking about the delightfully sinful Crumbl Cookies franchise. Silly plot threads are created, frayed, and tied back together with more convenience than your local 24-hour gas station. It’s eye-rolling stuff, as wishes for more substantial and creative ideas never materialize. Although the script tries to interject some gravitas with health concerns, bereavement, dating outlooks, and marriage quibbles, these moments feel as throwaway as a deliberate incomplete pass out of bounds.
Oh, do Tom Brady and other Pats have speaking lines outside of the Super Bowl B-roll? They do, as Mr. Brady adds another IMDb credit to his name, in addition to his memorable cameo in “Ted 2” (2015).
Tom no longer plays pro football, so he’ll have plenty of opportunities to step in front of a movie camera. For Tomlin, Fonda, Moreno, and Field, “80 for Brady” is a rare chance for the superstars to perform together, and the film’s target audience will most likely rejoice and cheer. This critic isn’t included with that group of spectators. Sigh, if only the script threw a Hail Mary or two or five, or at least threw it deep once.
⭐⭐ out of ⭐⭐⭐⭐
Directed by: Kyle Marvin
Starring: Lily Tomlin, Jane Fonda, Rita Moreno, Sally Field, and Tom Brady
Directed by: Kyle Marvin
Written by: Emily Halpern and Sarah Haskins
Runtime: 98 minutes
Rated: PG-13
Image credits: Paramount Pictures
